Friday I’m In Love: The Weekly Wrap-Up

Another week, another step closer to death…

Vampires and death appear to have been this week’s theme. Not so cheery, then. And with the Melbourne International Film Festival over, the city is full of blank-eyed cineastes aimlessly walking the ancient routes of the city’s movie houses. Without even knowing, they trace the steps to the long dead picture palaces, the ghosts of the Mayfair, the Chelsea, the Paris and the Park… On Bourke Street a young woman, listlessly clutching an Edward Yang DVD, hears the watery roar of the Esquire’s Wurlitzer, and a single tear rolls down her cheek…

So what have we learnt from the Institute this week?

1. Isaac Hayes was once in The A-Team.

2. It’s quite difficult to kill your babies. Those are metaphorical babies – it might be easier to kill real ones, I’m not sure. I believe taking candy from one is fairly straight-forward.

3. Cats make good vampire detectors.

4. Dick van Dyke, Chuck Berry and Jerry Lee Lewis are all still alive.

5. There are now 128 films listed in our George A Romero Title Game… Of The Dead. (Incidentally, if anyone reading this is – or knows – a graphic designer, mock up a DVD cover for one of these films and send it in. Let’s go visual! You’ll find the email on the “About” page.)

Before I go I’d like to make a clarification about one of the Institute’s regular correspondents. The Chris who posts comments and contributed to our MIFF wrap-up is not my celestial-life-partner/main-squeeze who is also called Chris. Comments Chris is someone I have never met – at least, not that I know of, it’s hard to tell on the internet. Comments Chris may well be an 80-year-old grandmother in Bosnia, as far as I know. In fact, how can you even be sure Comments Chris is a man? Sexist pig.

On the other hand, if I want to refer to my Chris I will use his full name, The Evil Doctor Chris (like Evil Graham Lee from The Triffids but without all that pedal-steel playing). The Evil Doctor Chris doesn’t post here, as he is too busy at his dark castle performing fiendish experiments which mock God and all his creation. Also, the constant thunder and lightning means he can’t get the internet (although he is thinking of broadband).

So thank you, Comments Chris – whoever you may be – and thanks to all our other contributors. To all who dare to give their opinion regardless of interest, The Outland Institute salutes you. With cake.

Keep adding those comments. See you next week.